
He’s dominated the MLB CVR rankings winning top honors for both FanDuel and DraftKings in consecutive seasons and is consistently ranked as one of the best Grinders in the industry. Dean Shavelson Shavelson, aka dean78904 has been playing DFS since 2012 and is one of the most senior GrindersLive on-air hosts.John has been playing fantasy sports since 1996 and is still scarred from being on the losing end of James Stewart’s 5-TD performance in 1997. John is a live final specialist who has won over 50 live final qualifiers, taking home first place in the 2018 FanDuel World Fantasy Baseball Championship and both first and second place at the 2021 FanDuel World Fantasy Basketball Championship. He is a graduate of Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh and graduated with an M.B.A. John Breslin Breslin, aka squirrelpatrol, is a consistent top-ranked Grinder and RotoGrinders contributor.If he’s as invested in the idea of becoming parents as you are, perhaps setting the boundary that he explore this issue in therapy first will be the thing that finally motivates him to make the change you’ve been asking for. Even if he’s able to scale back the gaming, he may need help developing alternate coping mechanisms to deal with the additional stress of parenting. And since the household labor is going to increase significantly with the addition of a baby, 35+ hours of play a week simply won’t be feasible.
/GettyImages-1064176202-d932e39f6dab4e3bb9125ad83a4d1130.jpg)
Even if you create a detailed plan for who will be doing what, it doesn’t sound like he’s capable of controlling his behavior around video games in the long term. An inequitable division of labor is a huge issue for so many couples, especially after having kids, and I know several who’ve divorced over it. I think you’re smart to want to address this before you start trying to have a baby. Robert De Niro Just Fathered a Baby at 79. The Effect on My Finances Has Been Staggering. Nobody Who Read Her Could Possibly Think a Mom Had No Inner Life The Queen’s Corgis May Not Be Dead, but There’s a New Royal Dog on the Scene Only your husband is able to know or discover whether the latter is true, and while I’m certainly not diagnosing him as an addict, it may be worth some deeper interrogation of what’s contributing to his video game usage in individual or couples therapy. The second way, which is impossible to know from the outside, is when we use a substance or behavior as a way to avoid feeling emotions. It sounds like for the most part, your husband is functioning pretty well despite his video game habit, except for the negative impact it’s having on your relationship, which doesn’t seem to be enough motivation for him to cut back. The first is when we continue to engage in the behavior despite negative consequences. In recovery, we usually think of a substance or activity as becoming a “problem” in two ways. While I haven’t gotten heavily into a video game since Donkey Kong Country on Super Nintendo, I am a recovering addict, so I know a few things about compulsive behavior. I love him and desperately want to start our family, but if I end up shouldering most of the work, I’m going to lose it. Is this worth going to counseling over? Delaying baby plans? It seems like conversations where I get vulnerable and ask for change don’t result in long-term solutions, and I’m at a loss.

When he plays, he puts his headphones on and can’t even hear me if I ask him something or need something, and I’m starting to get frustrated.

I think 7-15 hours a week of video games is reasonable, but not 40, especially with how much work a child is. But I work full-time too, and spend about 7-10 hours a week on my hobby of choice, and spend one night a week with my friends. I don’t want him to completely stop, and I understand people need hobbies, deep focus activities, social activities, and time to decompress. This is the only thing we repeatedly argue about-I’ll express my concerns, and his behavior will change for a couple weeks, but then return to normal. I don’t buy into the idea that men radically change after they become fathers and I worry this’ll continue after a baby arrives. But he spends upwards of 35-plus hours a week playing video games. I want to clarify that he doesn’t shirk his domestic responsibilities-he makes sure the apartment is clean, dinner is made, and errands are run. But there’s one thing that really concerns me something I fear may change the future of our would-be family.Īll he does when he’s not working, sleeping, or doing chores/errands is play video games. My husband is gainfully employed, kind, tender, calm, and patient, and I think he’ll be a good dad. My husband and I are about to start trying for our first baby, and I think we’re mostly ready. Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here.
